While cleaning up my room, I came upon an old journal & decided to see what page I would flip to on instinct. This is what I read. This is what I wrote.
Another beautiful day in mid-october…
I can’t believe just how amazing this fall season has been weather-wise. It’s absolute perfection. Yellowed leaves, blue skies, warm sun, cool breeze, endless vistas of mountains, cinnamon & cloves, absolute stillness. Steady change all around.
Just got to thinking that perhaps I need a total conscious reconstruction of my self. Being (actively & consciously) my higher self. A true Artist, who does every single thing with purpose. From the way I walk, talk, breathe, to the way I dress, think, laugh. An artist who can fully capture the essence of any thing. A person or a rock… they’re both one in the same.
Being wholly present to every aspect of every moment, knowing that all is just a reflection of my concept of my self. I control how I perceive everything & I choose to see all as beauty, love, & divine light.
Thinking over this idea of transformation when a big, beautiful butterfly flew past. If that’s not a sure sign, I don’t know what is.
For a long time I have known that I was capable of doing anything. I struggled with this idea because I was under the impression that every person was meant to pursue one path & I couldn’t make up my mind what path I wanted to go down. Today, I realize the beauty of this choice. I can wake up every single day & be whoever I feel like being, no matter who I was the day before! We are all a collective consciousness experiencing reality in different ways, so why not choose to experience my reality as multi-dimensionally as possible? Add to the collective more positive experiences.
Today I feel being an artist is important to me; like I have many things I want to capture & share with others. But, come January, my reality will be that of a yogini… yoga will be my life. And then there will be a time when living as a farmer & growing food, nurturing all beings, & working hard will be my reality.
All these experiences combine to paint the picture of the whole self, our highest self.
I choose to accept what is without judgement. To see all things as they are & know that it’s all a part of me & I am a part of it. I choose love. To love all beings as I love myself. And I must love myself, no matter what. The time of feeling down & unhappy & lost is over. I have this one life to fully live this expression of me. Created from divine energy, molecule by molecule with precision. I am not an accident.
My body is a beautiful manifestation of every thought I have ever had. It is allowing me to experience the sensations of this world. And so, I love every dimension of my self. I constantly strive to make each dimension better.
How amazing it is to be this. A soul, taking a chapter of eternity to experience life as a human being.
This is merely a fleeting glimpse of what is. Our lives are eternal & continuously growing & expanding, just like the Universe. We are the whole Universe. It lives within each one of us as pure divine light, otherwise known as love.
And the butterfly has returned for another visit.
Life is amazing.
So that’s that. Interpret it how you will, but just know that this is only my opinion at one point in time. That our lives are constantly in flux, which makes it easier to seek outside yourself for answers. All it comes down to, is that YOU have the answer to any question. It lives in your heart. Just listen to it. Listen to your own advice, your own words, your own thoughts. Pay attention to what it’s all telling you.
I think you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to realize the truth. And then you’ll occasionally be discouraged because you lose track of it at times. But in those precious moments of presence, the answer is all around. Just be. Just be love.
Find your medicine & use it.
love you xo mama bear