Lots going on lately. Been feeling busy again. But for one reason or many, my time right now is spread between a lot of people. It’s a bit overwhelming sometimes. I would never complain about my time being purposely filled, but I must admit, I lose my balance & I lose my presence. And when I lose my presence, life just isn’t as bright.
I have a hard time passing up any opportunity to grow, to learn, to become more proficient in many skills, to elevate and transform myself every single day. So I end up saying “yes” to a lot of different things, opening to whatever path they take me down. Every thing we encounter in our day-to-day lives is not ordinary. It’s all so extraordinary and it all will teach you something if you just quiet down, become still, wholly present.
Truly living in the moment. Maybe it sounds cliché, but it really is the key.
Today was an incredibly filled and “busy” day. But I never let myself get caught up in the next thing. I took my time. I remembered to breathe on purpose. I worked hard. I went on a blustery freedom bike ride. Made nourishing meals all day that I shared, at home and at one of my workspaces. I read Krishnamurti out loud to myself. I made delicious london fog tea for the tribe. And sat quietly for a bit. It seems like a lot sometimes. But I truly respect that a lot of other people feel the same way – Busy. Tired. Searching for the next thing to make them feel better. If I only had this…
At tonight’s dinner party at The Healing Space, I was sitting next to the bubbly, youngest Gee, Allison. She asked me for money for her school. She told me fanciful stories. And she told me my voice was sad.
“Why does your voice sound sad?”
“Does it? How so?”
“It just sad. Or, maybe it’s joy. Yeah, it’s definitely joy. But… it’s still a little sad.”
“Why do you think my voice sounds sad?”
“Because you lost it. You lost your dream.”
Something like that hits in a strange place. She whipped out a few other straight-to-my-soul remarks that were absurdly spot on, and then hopped up and continued on her way. Kids really do say the darnedest things.
A theme I can’t move past as of late is the commons struggle we all face. We concern ourselves constantly with things that don’t really actually matter in the end, while losing sight of what’s right in front of us. We forget that every single person on this planet is struggling with something, most of the time. We ALL have these little dramas that we play out in our heads, all types of delusions and assumptions that we just can’t move past. You are not alone.
And I am confident in saying all this only because I, too, am struggling most of the time. I get caught up in my thought drama. I lose my way. I lose my presence. I lose my joy. I lose my appetite. I lose my balance. Like, I am still just a student of life like everyone else. I am learning something new every day. I am learning how to take care of myself. I am learning how to manage stress. How to spend my time, and find balance between work and play and learning and socializing and cooking and eating. I get so caught up in my own thing I forget to look the person in front of me in the eyes. That’s the worst part.
But luckily, I honor the journey. And I honor this as the beginning. I have ever-changing, over-the-top dreams for myself, but I recognize that who I am now is the best I have ever been. Are you doing your best? That’s all you need to know.
You are doing your best when you show up to a yoga class. You are doing your best when you show up to a bike ride. You are doing your best when you get out of bed in the morning. You are doing your best when you are smiling for no other reason than to smile.
The most inspiring thing you could do is love yourself. Love your life as it is now.
The bravest thing you could do is to love your art. Believe in your gift.
The most rewarding thing you could do is to recognize your own worth.
The most powerful thing you can do is to ask for what you want. And believe you deserve it.
Only you can improve your life. And it’s done by
improving your thoughts
improving your state of mind
improving your concept of yourself
improving your quality of presence