It has taken me 25 years to figure myself out. Well, for the most part anyway. I still surprise myself from time to time, but don’t we all?
What I know without a doubt is that when I begin to feel lost in the chaos of life, drowned with to-do lists & like I can’t catch my breath, all that is really ever necessary is to spend a night alone under the stars. Purposely breathe in fresh mountain air. Splash my face with cold river water. Climb to the top of hill & revel in light.
I need to feel free & wild every now & then to remind myself who I am.
I need to revive the feeling of heading down a road, with no agenda, no destination, no concept of time, no one else to worry about pleasing but myself. That is my freedom.
I seek solitude in nature because in nature I never feel truly alone. And in the realm of nature, the realm of love, the realm of god, I sense the company of life. I see & taste & hear & smell & feel LIFE in it’s purest state. Wilderness is my wildness.
I taste my morning coffee like it’s the best cup I’ve ever had. Because it is. It always is when I sip slowly, mindfully.
I hear the water trickle along effortlessly. The flow seems smooth initially, but listening closely reveals inconsistencies caused by rocks or branches or water droplets determined to follow their own path.
I smell the warming fire as the flames & smoke dance about. I could spend hours observing a campfire. The flames reignite something in my soul. I believe it to be enthusiasm. Enthusiasm to be alive.
I feel timeless here. I feel surrounded by God. I feel peaceful & reconnected with all that is important in life.
And what exactly IS important in life?
To me, it’s pursuing my dreams spontaneously, recklessly. Living life differently than anyone else. Saying ‘no’ to busyness, to distraction, to resistance, to escape, to stress. Saying ‘yes’ to love, to acceptance, to presence, to art, to expression.
What’s important in life is to dig deeper so that you can find the answer to this question for yourself. What’s important is to become intimate with your own soul, to remind yourself of who you really are, where you came from, and most importantly, where you are going. Because in the end, we are all going to the same place.
“Wyoming washed through me in a great cleansing wave, and a strong suspician took hold that at least for some of us, wild places can be the perfect medicinal antidote to a lifetime of exposure to our own humanity – an exposure that leaves us each stricken and afflicted with our own lives. It has been said that the universe is designed to break your heart, but wilderness may suggest that it is only we who can do that.” -Joe Hutto