If you read the previous post, you know that I’ve recently experienced profound states of what I’ll call Love. A quality of blissful being in which I trust completely & allow life energy to flow into & back out of me without closing my heart.
However, I feel the need to be more transparent & let you know this is only half the story. I love stark contrast despite and because of its intensity in lessons. This newfound courage to experience all of life in fullness without habitual tendencies to run or numb or close waivers at times. So while I’d like to be living in pure Love & bliss & ecstasy & flow & trust all the time, it’s SO not the reality.
Because sometimes we simply need the contrast.
On the flip side of Love is Fear.
Heart-closing, mind-consuming, belly-aching FEAR. And for as much love as I’ve been able to experience, there’s an equal opposite.
What do I Fear?
How long you got!?
I fear my own divine power & the uninhibited embodiment of ALL her aspects. I fear betrayal & being deceived. I fear not being good enough & that showing all qualities of myself to someone might make me unlovable. I fear I’ll never live up to my own expectations. I fear sharing my secrets & voice & vulnerabilities to a world quick to judge. I fear making choices that keep me in a cycle of destruction. I fear my unhealed wounds & the triggers of reaction these traumas enforce. I fear myself in times I only want to escape. I fear losing my sovereignty & power to someone, & not because they take it but because I willingly give it away. I fear the evil forces in this world & within us all, the corrupt power & the unimaginable suffering of masses. I fear jumping out of the comfort of a soft nest & trusting my wings to fly. And yes, most of all I fear fear itself.
Phew, okay… now that that’s out.
(It is so much better to name our fears & release them than it is to hold them in with shame, trust me. Plus, you can’t possibly have more than me, right!?)
When any of these thoughts surface, my ego wants to believe & cling to them, which inhibits expansion & truest expression. Sometimes it is so hard to separate from a fear-based reaction we are blinded to the light of Love. And Love is my sacred purpose & ultimately why I share my experiences with you. That is why I breathe & dance & write & meditate… to come back to center, to be connected to Spirit, to trust myself & others & the unfolding of life, to remember the ineffable beauty & wonder of our Earth we live in for such a short time.
A world that is equally stunning in its blossoming & its decay, its joy & its pain, its birth & its death, its darkness & its light, its love & its fear.
Contrast is inevitable & can be very useful in awakening if appreciated.
A challenge & a gift is the process of learning to bring our shadow to light, our fear to love, our opposites to balance.
Know deeply that you can live in a state of Love free of Fear
simply because you ARE Love.
And lastly, you are so deeply loved, dear one. Pinky promise.
*** If you are interested in joining me for the Wild Awakening Masterclass on embodying & balancing the contrasting energies existent in us all & transforming into your wildest true self, I will be hosting FOUR classes beginning the end of this year. ***
Locations & Dates: